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Silent Hill 2: James Sunderland, Theme 11: Time's Up - 30screams [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
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Silent Hill 2: James Sunderland, Theme 11: Time's Up [Jan. 3rd, 2008|10:19 pm]
30screams

30screams

[rosehiptea]
[mood |weirdweird]
[music |Dead Can Dance: Mephisto]

Title: The Last Door
Theme: #11: Time's Up
Fandom: Silent Hill
Characters: James Sunderland (claim) and Pyramid Head
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: AU. Explicit m/m sex, references to rape and violence, profanity, extremely dark themes, mild bloodplay, spoilers.
Word Count: 1,011
A.N.: Also written for the 31_days prompt "a mountain of violent sins."



There have been so many doors, and he hopes this is the last one. It has to be; he can't see anything else anymore. And it opens without trouble this time. It's a tiny room which was once white but is covered with smoky stains. And there is nothing there, no other doors, just the thing James knew he would see. It wears the apron, stained with everyone's blood, and the knife is lying in the corner as if it isn't important anymore.

"MARY ISN'T HERE JAMES" the wall reads, as if he didn't know that already.

Its past time for running, maybe it always was, and James just walks in and shuts the door behind him.

He's still wearing the helmet, though James is certain now what's underneath. And his skin is covered with blood, the same blood that it on James's own skin... Or maybe it's all James's own skin, but that thought doesn't fit in his head yet, so he pushes it away.

The thing could still kill him, but in fact it probably already has. In this place James has lost track of alive and dead and what that means. So James just sits in the corner and stares.

"What happens now?" he asks. And the thing turns the helmet toward him but doesn't answer.

James could go and see if there's a town out there, but there probably isn't, and he doesn't want to bother. Now this is all about the creature before him, just like it was meant to be.

He gets up, walks toward it, knowing it would probably rape him or kill him but not really caring now. He looks at that white stained skin, looks through the helmet into what surely are his own eyes. He might as well admit it now.

"I know what you are. You’re me, my guilt, and I made you. Isn't that right?"

The thing tilts the helmet slightly, as if considering the question, and shakes its head. And then James feels it all. A mountain of violent sins rushing into his mind, a pile of corpses, bodies of monsters raped and dismembered by this thing, other sinners caught and punished. And James himself runs through the town and hides in its shadows and feels the lust for blood and flesh, so much worse than what he felt for Mary, and it makes him hard even now.

"No! You're me. You're my punishment," he says. And the thing nods. James can't leave it there though; he has to say the final truth, though it proves that even here the truth is always worse.

"But you were here before I came to this place! That's what you're telling me?"

And it nods again, and then James understands and it's not what he wanted at all.

Because he isn't really James Sunderland, punished by a beast from Hell for what he did to one small woman. He was always this thing before him, always.

One day this creature was born into Ashfield and it was a baby named James. And then it grew up and it was a man, with thoughts and a face and a past but it was still what it always was. And it tried to be human and tried to have a wife but it killed because it always does. And then James came back to meet himself, but not only because of Mary. Because of Silent Hill, because he came from here, because he was always meant to go back.

And that’s the part that suddenly hurts. Because it wasn't about James Sunderland, it was about this damn town after all.

"Why? How could anything like this happen?"

The thing shrugs, and holds out its arms as if in welcome.

"I don't want to be you!" James says, and he rushes for the knife, runs at the helmeted creature but he knows it isn't afraid even though he can't see its face.

It's too late, though. If he stabs it, kills it, he'll still be what he is. And even if only one of them walks out of here there's nowhere to go.

"YOU CAN'T KILL YOURSELF WHEN YOU ARE DEAD ALREADY," the wall reads and it makes more sense than anything else in this town.

And then James does what he really wants, drops the knife. He runs at the thing, buries his head in its neck and licks the dried salty blood, bites down and tastes its flesh. The helmet scrapes his scalp and brings fresh blood down his face and he licks that up too.

He can feel it, he can feel everything, the pain of his own teeth in its neck, the hardness that is both of them, the need to fuck and hurt. And there's nothing left but himself, but there's enough fucking and pain there too.

"I hate you," he says to it. And it's true, but it really doesn't matter anymore. It doesn't matter who will fuck who in this place, who will end up bleeding on the floor. James pushes the apron aside, reaches for the thing's cock, and feels it heavy and scarred in his hand. He's so damn hard, and he needs this, just as he needs the taste of that skin in his mouth as he bites again on its chest.

And he pretends this isn't him, that this isn't his own cock he is stroking but of course it is. He can feel it from the other side, too, as he grips himself, hurts himself, makes himself think of Mary and her flesh instead of nameless monsters but that doesn't work either. The heat just increases and he moves his hand faster, screams obscenities in his mind and trying not to remember everything.

"I hate you," he says again as he his body shudders, as the liquid spills over his hand. And it's still true, but it still doesn't matter. Now it's only pain, just like always.

"YOU ARE THE HILL JAMES SUNDERLAND," the wall reads, and that doesn't surprise him anymore.
linkReply

Comments:
[User Picture]From: ironical_kai
2008-01-04 07:12 am (UTC)
Mmmm. Much love for this. <3 I always love a good PH smut fic.
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[User Picture]From: rosehiptea
2008-01-04 07:15 am (UTC)
Why thank you! I'm really glad you enjoyed it. I wasn't sure I could pull off the idea but in the end I had a lot of fun with it.
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[User Picture]From: bane_6
2008-01-04 07:21 am (UTC)
Creepy! I don't play the games, but all the imagery is really spooky!
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[User Picture]From: rosehiptea
2008-01-04 07:25 am (UTC)
I slept with the lights on when I played Silent Hill 2 and I was thirty-nine years old. :/

I'm glad you liked it! It was actually fun to write. *looks around nervously* But I thought I'd never get through the smut part.
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[User Picture]From: hinodeh
2008-01-04 08:24 am (UTC)
That's really good, but I'm not sure I completely understand what it is about :/

Oh well, this is SH anyway...
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[User Picture]From: rosehiptea
2008-01-04 09:11 am (UTC)
The idea is ... or is supposed to be... that Pyramid Head was James from the beginning. James came back to Silent Hill because he was Pyramid Head born into the outside, kind of the same way that Cheryl came back because she was Alessa (only not with same dynamic), and the Mary thing was more of an extra thing that happened because James was doomed from the start.

But I think I did rather drop the ball explaining that. I wanted to make it clear without sounding pedantic, but I think it didn't work.

Or maybe the point is "PH and James go at it" and I guess I did make that point.

Thank you for reading anyway and I'm glad it was enjoyable in some way... XD

Edited at 2008-01-04 09:11 am (UTC)
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[User Picture]From: hinodeh
2008-01-04 03:45 pm (UTC)
Wow, that's a cool idea.

Don't be sad, I suspect that was rather me being stupid :(
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[User Picture]From: rosehiptea
2008-01-04 04:21 pm (UTC)
Judging from the other comments, it probably wasn't you. Then again, if it comes off as not 100% making sense, in Silent Hill that probably is OK, so I'll live with it.

That icon... *dies*
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[User Picture]From: rosehiptea
2008-01-04 10:33 am (UTC)
Thanks very much for reading. I'm glad if it was an effective story.
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[User Picture]From: cloud_x_nine
2008-01-05 12:12 am (UTC)
What a fantastic concept, James is Pyramid Head, but in a literal sense.
I'm always hearing the same old "manifestation of guilt, punisher, sinner, etc." but it always seemed too simple. This really kicked my SH2 theories back into gear.
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[User Picture]From: rosehiptea
2008-01-05 12:31 am (UTC)
Thank you so much! I vary in how much I think Pyramid Head = James (not that I'm denying what Konami says about it, but I play with the ideas in fic and in my head) and then it sort of hit me that maybe he could be James in a whole different way. I'm so glad if it came off well.
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From: (Anonymous)
2008-01-06 03:07 am (UTC)

good

Very interesting concept. You did good with portraying the emotion/thought in it too, very good. great job and, though short, a good read.
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[User Picture]From: rosehiptea
2008-01-06 03:12 am (UTC)

Re: good

Thank you very much!

I usually write things that are even shorter... but I agree that this one was short, and I wish I had taken more time to develop the central theme. But if it still worked for you, I'm glad!
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[User Picture]From: pyramidhead316
2008-01-07 04:57 pm (UTC)
That was one hell of a mindfuck. When I saw the summary, I thought this would be a fic of PH punishing James. I didn't expect James to be PH in the literal sense of the word!

I'm tempted to write one where James turns into PH, and then we see James wandering into the hotel. Meaning that this James was the other PH who appears and not the James that we've been following throughout the game.

But this idea is good too. Kudos on writing it so effectively!

:D
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[User Picture]From: rosehiptea
2008-01-07 05:06 pm (UTC)
Thank you! I really wanted to do a twist on James = PH and I'm so glad if it was effective.

That's a cool idea too. I think that really works, James as the second PH. Because it appears relatively mysteriously (even though there is an explanation as to why there's another one) and James by then has accepted the truth.
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[User Picture]From: velvet_mace
2008-01-12 12:02 am (UTC)
I liked both these fics (this one and the Maria one). With Maria PH is sort of her tool, her henchman, which is an interesting idea in itself. Very evil. PH as a lurking boy toy made me laugh.

This one has that hatesex thing going on. That which disgusts and horrifies me turns me on, which is fun to explore. He's finally (literally) embracing his faults.
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[User Picture]From: rosehiptea
2008-01-12 12:16 am (UTC)
Thanks so much for reading!

I seldom write hatesex, but with this "pairing" it just makes too much sense. And it was a way to work it out consensually (if in an extremely dark and twisted way.)

I'm glad you liked the other one too. When I rewatched the cut scene with my fic in mind and saw Pyramid Head coming up behind her it was almost funny. (As opposed to when I was playing the game with a serious sense of dread.) So I'm glad the fic turned out funny too.

I think there's a little of me that sometimes wishes PH was a lurking boy toy rather than a homicidal rapist maniac. But I didn't say that.
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[User Picture]From: dracothrope
2008-03-25 12:29 am (UTC)
Oooh, cool take on it! :D I enjoyed reading this. The concept was fuzzy to start with, but having it laid out crystal clear right from the beginning would probably have ruined the dawning understanding. Nicely done!
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[User Picture]From: rosehiptea
2008-03-25 12:33 am (UTC)
Thank you so much! I was actually afraid I hit everyone in the head with the concept, so in a way I'm glad if it was fuzzy... well, as long as you understood it.

I'm so glad you liked this. It's a hard pairing to write.
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[User Picture]From: elendraug
2008-04-29 04:25 am (UTC)
This is so twisted and sick, I love it. Everything you write just exudes excellence. ♥

oh james, why you do that, sir :< poor guy is so beyond fucked.
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[User Picture]From: rosehiptea
2008-04-29 04:46 am (UTC)
*blush* Thank you so much. I'm really glad you enjoyed it. I had fun playing with the concepts.

I need to write more for this claim. I think I'm starting to feel sorry for James. XD
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[User Picture]From: elendraug
2008-04-29 04:49 am (UTC)
I have always felt bad for James. ♥ probably because as gamer with him as the protagonist, you assume his role If he'd made it to a court, he definitely could've pled insanity. D:
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[User Picture]From: rosehiptea
2008-04-29 04:58 am (UTC)
I know what you mean about assuming the role! About halfway through (I'm slow) when it him me that
"I" might not exactly be a classic good guy or even a tortured angsty one, I said "Wow, I love this game."

I remember learning about dissociative fugue in psychology class. Much as I usually hesitate to diagnose fictional characters I said "Hey, I know who had this one!"
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[User Picture]From: elendraug
2008-04-29 05:07 am (UTC)
Oh, absolutely. James could be the poster child for it.

I'm still a firm believer that nobody in that game existed except James, Laura, and Mary.
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[User Picture]From: rosehiptea
2008-04-29 05:11 am (UTC)
I think there are a bunch of levels of existence once you hit Silent Hill. Which characters used to exist on the relatively normal level or could ever theoretically leave gets especially weird in Silent Hill 2 I think.

Sometimes I wonder if James ever leaves even in the endings where he seems to. (I guess "Leave" is a pretty clear title though...)



Edited at 2008-04-29 05:12 am (UTC)
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[User Picture]From: elendraug
2008-04-29 05:22 am (UTC)
The "Maria" ending is the creepiest to me, honestly; when she coughs at the end, it sends a chill down my spine. James is doomed to repeat everything...

I got the "In Water" ending first, though, and let me tell you, I cried for an hour straight. It was like two in the morning and I was sitting alone, in the dark, on my bedroom floor, staring up at the screen as a miserable wreck. 8D;
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[User Picture]From: rosehiptea
2008-04-29 05:27 am (UTC)
I actually only played the game once and I got "In Water." I was really moved by it too.

But yeah, the "Maria" ending is extremely creepy. Then again I did a post-"Leave" fanfic where Laura wasn't really entirely on the same level of existence (not that I think that's canon) and was psychologically torturing James.

(I like Maria though. She's like "the dark lady.")
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[User Picture]From: elendraug
2008-04-29 05:48 am (UTC)
XDD your icon ♥

Same here, but I then watched the others on youtube or something.

Laura is the only character in all of Silent Hill that I genuinely hate, because she's the game's way of not just pointing out James' guilt, but RUBBING IT IN HIS FACE. During the "True" scene, when she's just screaming at him over and over, "You killed her, James! You killed Mary! I hate you! I hate you!", I can't even take it.
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[User Picture]From: twilightscribe
2011-11-14 05:54 am (UTC)
Oh Silent Hill, you and your wild-mass guessing. This was awesome by the way. <3
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[User Picture]From: rosehiptea
2011-11-14 05:08 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much! It was fun to write once I got the idea.
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